From FMyLife user misunderstood

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Today, after having a fight with my boyfriend, we had what I thought to be the best make-up sex, because he seemed so happy and upbeat. Turns out he misunderstood. He was happy because he thought it was break-up sex. FML

From FMyLife user Anonymous

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Today, while shopping at a department store, a lady came up to me and said very slowly "do-you-need-help?" I'm a paraplegic, not mentally handicapped. FML

From FMyLife user ohmydog

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Today, I found out that the reason why my boyfriend has a chipped tooth is because his teeth hit another girl's teeth while kissing her. FML

From FMyLife user Anonymous

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Today, I took some friends out to the woods to show them a natural spring. I explained to them that the water bubbles up from under ground, and that it's clean and tasty. I bent down and drank a few hefty handfuls only to look up and see a dead raccoon floating near me. FML

From FMyLife user kaytay2469

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Today, while I was working at child care, I told a two year old not to hit. He threw a bucket at me that bounced off my forehead. FML

From FMyLife user Anonymous

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Today, after doing it with my girlfriend, she told me that she was "faking the whole time, and thinking of talking cupcakes." FML

From FMyLife user whyamiwithyou

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Today, I found out my boyfriend went to a party, without me. I had planned a surprise get together with his best friend, who is on leave from the army. He told me he was busy taking care of his parents, who had food poisoning. I found out he was lying when he called me to bail him out of jail. FML

From FMyLife user jentea

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Today, I was at my boyfriend's house waiting for him to get out of the shower. Bored, I sent my friend a picture of myself pretending to make out with his bear rug. After the photo shoot, I looked in the doorway to find his dad staring at me. FML

From FMyLife user Anonymous

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Today, I found out my mum has been wearing my underwear. When I confronted her about it, she shrugged and said "I'm not stopping." FML

From FMyLife user ow

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Today, while I was running in a cross country meet, a bug flew into my right eye. Then, a bug flew into my left eye. Not wanting to lose a neck-and-neck sprint, I tried to run blind. I hit a pole. FML

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